But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
