I wish I could punch you in the face.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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