Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
