redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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