I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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