Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
