just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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