I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
