Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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