; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
