Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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