What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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