Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
