also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
