you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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