Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there is glitter all over my balls
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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