HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
