I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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