Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
