i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
