Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
