we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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