shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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