Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
