the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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