your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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