Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
