at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tell your sister to shave her snatch
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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