it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
