She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
