He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
