Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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