Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
