I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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