why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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