Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
