she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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