Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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