I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
