So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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