ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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