East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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