he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
