My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
