I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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