It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
