now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am one with the molecules
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
