Kiss
Puke
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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