I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
