Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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