Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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